Bad Breath Takes a Vacation

My First St-Patrick's Day

2008-04-16T19:35:00.006-04:00

I met some friends who I think you might know during my St Patrick's Day celebrations. I ate nachos and had a couple of pints of delicious green beer. I proceeded to get a little nauseous.... and..... where did these pictures come from anwyay? I don't remember wearing nothing but beads for the camera :S

Ugh. I'm never going to drink again...

Ταξίδι στην Ελλάδα

2008-04-02T22:05:00.003-04:00

Έτσι, όπως υπόσχεται, είναι εδώ μερικές εικόνες από το ταξίδι μου στην Ελλάδα. Όπως μπορείτε να δείτε, έμαθα τα λίγα ελληνικά ενώ ήμουν εκεί. Εν πάση περιπτώσει, ήταν ένα θεαματικό ταξίδι, δεν έχετε δει ποτέ οποιαδήποτε θέση όπως την Ελλάδα. Πήγα να επισκεφτώ το ναό απόλλωνα, πήγα να δω μερικές αρχαίες καταστροφές, και πήρα κάποιο αυθεντικό souvlaki. Δεν έχω δοκιμάσει ποτέ τίποτα τόσο καλό!

http://picasaweb.google.com/halitosis.vacation/Greece

Flying Out

2008-03-23T20:52:00.005-04:00

You know, sometimes I wonder if you ever even notice I'm gone.

About that trip I mentioned in Holy Crap, I flew out of Toronto with some friends, and we made our way to the city of drugs, sex, and bicycles (Amsterdam!).

The flight itself was ok. I had never been on a plane before, so I was a little shaky. Fortunately, I only spewed twice: once on the flight itself, and once when we landed in Amsterdam, and when I got my first whiff of this scent that I had never smelled before! I later found out that this smell was marijuana. And when I say found out, I mean I had many of my own doobies. That shit is good.

Before my trip...

2008-03-15T22:52:00.004-04:00

Before I talk about my trip, I've been meaning to tell you about what a great time I had at Winterlicious. Winterlicious, if you don't know, is an event in Toronto where a bunch of fancy restaurants have special deal on their food for a few nights. Well, I assure you that I had my fill of fancy food and even fancier wines.

Mmm... expensive French food for cheap... You know, looking at these pictures, it has occured to me that I've been wearing the same outfit for an awfully long time. Maybe it's time I got a change of clothes. My bowtie is starting to look a little wonky...

Holy crap.

2008-03-03T22:39:00.005-05:00

Pardon my language, but it's been a hell of a long time since I've posted. For those of you who don't know, I returned home to London last month and finally saw my owner whom I've missed all this time.

Crisia, it was great seeing you again. You know, you never know how much you miss someone until you see them. I was so looking forward to being your date at the charity ball. But, alas, I saw your true colours. When you had the choice between myself and that hunky blonde, you chose him as your date. How insulting. Clearly, you did not miss me as much as I missed you. And then, afterwards, you took me home and stuck me on a dark shelf. That wasn't very nice. But you know, I miss you so much, that I will forgive you.

Anyway, I'm actually quite tired, as I am still recovering from my trip. What? You didn't know? Oh, well I suppose you'll find out next post...

More winter sports

2008-01-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

I never thought that winter sports could be so hard! I tried going skiing the other day.

I made it up the chair lift fine. But remember the problems I had with my skates? Well dammit, I had the same problem with these skis!

They really need to make microbe friendly winter equipment. These manufacturers are bacillophobic, I tell you!

Rocking Out

2008-01-06T16:48:00.000-05:00

Over the holidays, I was at a Christmas party with some friends I've made in the past few months since I left home. We played this great game called Rock Band. I was the star drummer in our band! The picure below is of me drumming while my buddy is singing Roxanne.

"ROOOXXXAAANNNE, you don't have to put on the red light"

It was sad spending my very first Christmas without you, Crisia. I hope to make it back home soon, so I can see you again.

Ice Skating

2008-01-03T21:57:00.000-05:00

Crisia, I had such a great Christmas! I can't tell you all about it tonight (I'm heading back to that 24/7 Peep Show place in a bit), but here are some pictures of me skating.

To be honest, I wasn't able to skate so well. I could only get one skate on at a time, and I kept tipping over :(

Snowed In

2007-12-28T22:59:00.000-05:00

You should have seen the snow here last week! I've never seen anything like it. As the snow was falling, I couldn't help myself frolicking in the giant snow banks.

Once the snow was finished, I decided to take a stroll. You'll never guess who I met..... Alix says hi :)

Sexing It Up

2007-12-18T21:04:00.000-05:00

Browsing the streets of Montreal, I made a shocking discovery. This city is great if you like women who like women who like to take their clothes off. I'll post some pictures as proof, but I'll leave the naughty ones out. I don't think your innocent eyes could handle what this little microbe has seen here...

Trip to the Beach

2007-12-03T20:05:00.000-05:00

Hey Crisia!

The past week has been a little slow. I had a big trip to Puerto Rico planned with my new buddy Nelson, but sadly I missed my flight (i.e. Nelson forgot me in his apartment, on his kitchen table). Oh well, I suppose my allergy to alcohol would have kept me from enjoying Pina Coladas on the beach anyhow.

Anyway, since I have no big news this week, I figured I could take this opportunity to give you a little update. Before I left our home in London, I stopped by a beautiful beach on one of the Great Lakes. While I was taking a stroll on the beach with my fellow snails (I don't move very fast with my short bumps), I noticed I was being followed by a strange man in yellow shorts. He took me captive, and threatened to drown me.

Fortunately, I drugged him with sedatives that I mixed with his apple juice while he was reading a cheezy fantasy novel, and made my escape while he slept. I bet I would have been much safer had I been in Puerto Rico with Nelson!

The Demise of Gobbles

2007-11-26T22:50:00.000-05:00

You saw the "Before" picture. I think the "After" picture speaks for itself.

I then finished Gobbles up with a nice warm cup of tea.

Happy Turkey Day!

2007-11-22T22:30:00.000-05:00

Today is Thanksgiving in the U.S., where I've spent the past week.

I happened to pass by some lovely turkeys yesterday. I chatted with them a bit. You teaching me the turkey language came quite in handy! I spoke to a particular turkey about politics, and weather. Then I told the turkey I was going to eat him, for today is Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving!

To North America's French capital

2007-11-10T17:24:00.000-05:00

I arrived in Montreal this week. Wow, what a difference. They have this thing called "Pharmaprix" that looks an awful lot like Shopper's Drug Mart, and a place called "PFK".

What the hell is a poulet frit anyway?

Yaarrrr!

2007-10-31T20:22:00.000-04:00

Yo-Ho, my favourite wench!

Today, I be a salty sea dog pirate for Hallowe'en, and I be trickin and treatin

Long time no speak!

2007-10-27T23:26:00.000-04:00

Hey Crisia!

It's been awhile since I've updated you on my adventures. After spending some time in Pioneer Village, I go to know these two friendly ladies. They have been taking care of me for the past week, while I've been planning the rest of my vacation.

Speaking of planning the rest of my vacation, I have big plans to visit North America's French capital, as well as another place that might shock you - but we'll save that surprise for later.

Take care,
Hali

Out of the city, into the village

2007-10-18T21:35:00.000-04:00

I made a trip to Pioneer Village this past week, and it was quite interesting.

First, I sat on a nice big tractor. Unfortunately, my bumps couldn't reach the gas pedal, so I settled for imagining a nice long tractor ride on the farm. Nevertheless, it was certainly a nice
change from sitting in your desk drawer

Running Away From Home

2007-10-12T22:16:00.000-04:00

Since moving in to that new place in London, I haven't felt at home. Getting adjusted to the new air is a little tough for both of us, and I feel like you have been trying to drink away your worries with your mouthwash, which has been unpleasant for me. Not only that, but hearing your roommate Nikhil's constant chatter about the Maple Leafs has left a bad taste in my mouth.

When you went back to visit my birthplace, it was my golden opportunity to take my leave, so I did. I will see what an independent life has to offer. I don't know how long I will be gone, but count on me having many adventures before I come back.

Goodbye, Crisia. I hope you fare well until I return.